Valduggery: Drabbles and Oneshots
by Valquesse23
Summary: Just short little stories that will always feature Valduggery. Sometimes they'll already be together, and sometimes it'll end with them getting together. Please review! xD
1. Heart and Soul

**Just a little Valduggery. I'm in a soppy mood. xD Hope you enjoy it!**

Valkyrie felt her stomach drop as Skulduggery walked into the hospital room. Her heart began to beat so loudly she was sure everyone could hear.

She felt Ghastly's hand on the small of her back as she swallowed hard.

Skulduggery looked in their direction and she felt the heat rise to her cheeks.

He walked over to her. Valkyrie's mouth went dry. Surely her knees would give way soon.

She watched him tap the symbols on his collarbone, activating his facade. Dark blonde hair spread out across his skull. His skin, although quite pale, was still waxy and his green eyes pierced hers. Skulduggery's mouth was set in a straight line as he reached her, his eyes cold and distant.

Although he was looking at Valkyrie, he spoke to Ghastly.

"Is it dead?"

"We went to Nye's laboratory but there was no sign of it. I'm sorry Skulduggery but we can't find it."

"Are you still looking?" He was still staring at Valkyrie and as much as she wanted to look away, she couldn't.

"Of course we are. Skulduggery we're on your side. We'll find it."

Skulduggery nodded and finally tore his gaze from Valkyrie. She looked straight down at her feet, trying to control her heart rate.

"I'd like to have some time with my partner please."

Valkyrie's head snapped up, all thoughts of control leaving her.

"Alright, but not long, she needs to rest."

Ghastly looked at her. Valkyrie knew what he was seeing. Her cheek bones protruded from her skin, her eyes had lost their spark. She was frail, pale and ill-looking. Six months with the 'good doctor' Nye could do that to a person.

Ghastly left, and shut the door quietly. She sat back down on the bed, out of breath from standing too long.

Skulduggery remained standing, staring at her impassively. She glanced at him, but saw no emotion on his face so looked back at the floor. Valkyrie had spent the last six months thinking what she would say when she saw Skulduggery again. What she would tell him, what she would admit. God knows she'd missed him the most; more than her parents and her baby sister. It was then she realised that her feelings for Skulduggery had definitely... Shifted. Something had changed.

She'd fallen in love with him.

In essence, that's what had saved her life.

The love she felt for him protected her soul from Nye. It was as if Skulduggery owned her soul. He simply couldn't get past its protective barrier. That's not to say he hadn't tried.

Valkyrie idly wondered how long it would take her to build up her strength and muscle again, and how bad the nightmares would be when she felt the bed move and saw Skulduggery sitting next to her.

She couldn't even open her mouth to say hi. She was pretty sure she was going to start crying. Typical. Six months of torture, she'd shed not a tear. Thirty seconds in Skulduggery's company and she was a leaking tap.

"Valkyrie..." He whispered.

The sob that escaped Valkyrie's lips was harsh and involuntary, and her hand flew to her mouth. Her body shook.

Skulduggery wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her close. He buried his face in her hair.

"Shhh I'm here. It's okay, I'm here. I'm not leaving you." He mumbled.

Valkyrie sobbed harder, curling up and burying her head in his bony shoulder. Skulduggery's arms encircled her waist and he leant back against the pillow, lying down and taking her with him.

"I've missed you; I've missed you so much." Valkyrie half sobbed, half choked out.

Skulduggery rested his forehead on hers, his eyes closed.

"You've no idea how much I've missed you too."

Valkyrie's heart was hammering so hard against her ribcage she was sure Skulduggery could feel it too. She closed her eyes. She might as well tell him. If he left her, at least she would be able to say goodbye this time. Maybe that would make his absence more bearable.

"I love you."

She kept her eyes tightly shut.

She felt Skulduggery's hands tense around her waist.

She expected this.

He heard him draw a shaky breath and felt him take his head away from hers.

She expected this.

He cupped her face with one hand.

She frowned. What was he doing? Just as she was about to open her eyes she felt his lips on hers.

She did _not _expect this.

The kiss was short, but it left them both breathless.

"I love you, too."

**I've been taking pictures of parts in the books that I think are a little 'Valduggery'. I've set them as my lock screen on my iPhone. They make me happy. **

**Hope you liked that! Just something short! Sort of... ;) **


	2. You are the worst

**So I'm going to attempt to write this from Skulduggery's point of view... :O Let me know what you think! **

Skulduggery sat in the Bentley outside of her house, impatiently drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. It was sunny outside so he had his hat dipped low over his face, and his facade activated.

_Why is it, _he thought to himself, _that whenever I'm in a hurry, she's late? _

He looked up at her bedroom window and sighed. The curtains were still closed.

Valkyrie Cain was an absolute menace sometimes.

Skulduggery sighed again and decided that he had waited long enough. He opened the car door and stepped out into the fresh air.

As soon as he was in the shade from the tree outside her bedroom, he deactivated his facade and ascended up to the window, his gloved hand splayed. He landed gracefully, _almost catlike _he thought, on the windowsill. The curtains were still closed.

He tried the window, it was unlocked and opened easily. He bypassed the curtains and looked around Valkyrie's room. It was relatively messy; her bed was unmade and clothes were strewn around the floor.

At least she wasn't still asleep. Skulduggery heard water running. She was in the shower. He sighed, for the third time this morning, and sat on the end of her bed.

It was times like these, when he had no one to talk to, no distractions, that he couldn't quite keep track of his thoughts. Some lingered just out of reach, in his subconsciousness. They teased him, flitting around in his dreams.

Up until recently his meditative state had allowed to him to shut down all thoughts and feelings. It was peaceful and relaxing. However that had begun to change ever since Valkyrie had invaded his subconscious. He had no idea why, but every time he tried to 'sleep' his mind wandered off always thinking of her.

Skulduggery took off his hat and placed it beside him. He lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

_You're in love with her. _

Skulduggery sat up; his bones rigid with a newfound tension just as Valkyrie walked into her room.

She was naked; drying her hair with the towel and hadn't noticed him.

Skulduggery knew he should pick up his hat and cover his eyes, maybe make some snide comment and scare her witless but he couldn't. He couldn't drag his eyes, _sockets, _away from her body.

God she was beautiful. Why hadn't he noticed before? He'd seen the reflection naked once and that hadn't caused him to have the same reaction. This was different. He remembered how Valkyrie had shrieked when she realised and chuckled at the memory.

Valkyrie whipped the towel down from her head and wrapped it around her body in one fluid motion. When she saw it was Skulduggery she closed her eyes and her mouth was set in a thin line.

"Please, _please _tell me that you had your eyes shut."

"I don't have eyes."

Skulduggery noted his voice sounded spectacularly smug, and took great pleasure in the blush that was rising from Valkyrie's neck.

"How much did you see?" Valkyrie breathed. Her whole face was scarlet now.

Skulduggery leant back on the bed and activated his facade so she could see his grin when she opened her eyes.

"Absolutely everything. There's no need to be embarrassed Valkyrie. Although you don't look much like Grace Kelly, you're still beautiful in your own way."

Valkyrie's eyes snapped open and the next thing Skulduggery knew there was a towel over his head and a slam of a door. He got up and followed Valkyrie, this time his hat in front of his eyes.

"You are just the worst." He heard her snap, as she struggled to pull on trousers.

"The worst at what?"

"Well, you're terrible at pretending to have humility, you're horrible at soothing my embarrassment but you are the worst at pretending not to be hopelessly in love with me."

Skulduggery pulled his hat down from his face just in time to see Valkyrie pull a t-shirt on. She turned around to look at him, face still bright red but eyes full of defiance. Then he noticed her smile.

"Now who's blushing..."

Skulduggery inwardly cursed China and took a step towards Valkyrie. Her smile faltered.

"Skulduggery. What are you doing?" She took a step backwards, looking wary.

He grinned as he cornered her, in her own wardrobe, of all places. She stepped back again and Skulduggery pinned her to the wall, his torso pressed against hers, his hands on her waist.

Before either of them knew what was happening, Skulduggery was kissing her, urgently. Valkyrie's hands snaked around his neck; running her hands through his hair. Skulduggery hadn't felt fire inside himself like this for a very long time.

He moved his hand further down and picked her up. Valkyrie wrapped her legs around Skulduggery's waist and moaned into his mouth. He pulled away and began trailing kisses around her throat and shoulders. She smelt heavenly.

Valkyrie groaned again and pulled Skulduggery's face back to hers for more.

He grinned and carried her back into her room.

"I knew you couldn't resist me." Valkyrie murmured against his lips, as he sat on the bed. Valkyrie was still wrapped around him.

"What do you mean?" His voice was ragged when he spoke.

He felt Valkyrie smile and she pulled away to look at him. There was a glint in her eye and suddenly it all fell into place.

Skulduggery's eyes narrowed and he glared at Valkyrie.

"You were late on purpose." He paused. "You were naked on purpose."

Valkyrie laughed. "I'm always naked on purpose."

She leant in to kiss him again but Skulduggery pulled back.

"You tricked me." He said grumpily.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes, grabbed a fistful of his hair and said "I'm amazing," right before kissing him again and pushing him back on the bed.

_She's the worst at modesty, _was Skulduggery's final thought before he was lost in Valkyrie.

**They need to fall in love ASAP.. xD  
Hope you enjoyed that! Sorry for any mistakes.**


	3. Find him

**I've been getting some lovely reviews! Thank you so much! **

It had been the longest year of Valkyrie Cain's life.

She'd barely slept, barely ate; she rested when she absolutely had to. She only ever thought one thing:

_Find him. _

Now she was close. There was something other than sorrow in the air. There was excitement and hope.

Valkyrie still couldn't understand why Skulduggery had left. She remembered their final conversation.

"_I have to go. You wouldn't understand... You don't understand much." _

"_Don't joke around Skulduggery. How long will you be gone?" _

"_I'm not joking. You can be extraordinarily thick sometimes." _

"_Skulduggery..." _

"_Valkyrie. This is just something I have to do. I shouldn't be long." _

Valkyrie scoffed at that. "Shouldn't be long" her foot. He'd been gone a year and she hadn't heard a whisper from him. After two months of silence she'd decided she couldn't wait any longer.

_Find him._

It wasn't easy. She didn't have the help of China or Tanith like last time. Valkyrie had managed to coerce Fletcher to help but he was very reluctant to get involved. Valkyrie supposed the only good thing was the Sanctuary was on her side. Ghastly and Erksine were just as desperate to find Skulduggery as she was.

Now she was in Russia, wrapped in a black padded coat and dark trousers. She pulled the hood up and tightened her scarf around her neck. It was the middle of winter and a white blanket of snow covered the silent cars and houses. The roads were quiet and streets dark in St. Petersburg. Although Valkyrie reasoned that nearly any city would be dark and quiet on a Tuesday at 2am.

She took a left turn off the main road down a suburban street. She walked along the footpath, snow crunching beneath her feet. Her breath was visible and her cheeks were rosy pink. Valkyrie stopped suddenly in front a house numbered 54.

This was it.

After months of tracking loose and dead ends, she was here.

_Find him._

A tall, impossibly skinny man was seen bundled into this house less than 24 hours ago by members of the Russian Mafia. Valkyrie's source stated he was wearing an impeccable suit and kept making sarcastic comments about his captor's ears.

Valkyrie's heart had skipped a beat when she heard this.

_Find him. _

Now she stood staring at the darkened house. She had no immediate back-up. Fletcher had disappeared back to Australia and Ghastly couldn't spare any Cleavers. It was just her.

Still. Maybe she could sneak into the house, get Skulduggery out and not have to fight anyone. That would make a nice change.

Valkyrie sighed. It just wasn't going to happen.

She walked up the front path and tried the door handle.

Locked.

She moved to the window.

Barred.

Valkyrie took a few steps back and looked up. There, on the second story, was a balcony and a window left slightly ajar.

Perfect.

Valkyrie gritted her teeth and concentrated. She blocked out the cold and splayed her hands behind her. _Feel the connections, _she thought and she flew up to the balcony and landed silently. She crept over to the window. The room was dark, but she could see light coming under a shut door. Valkyrie slipped through window, praying there was no one in the room.

Just as she was about to open the door, it swung open. Valkyrie leapt behind it just in time. She didn't fancy fighting anyone before knowing where Skulduggery was. If he was even here.

The man grabbed what looked like a wallet off the bedside table and left, without even glancing in Valkyrie's direction.

She counted to twenty, then added another ten to be sure, and opened the door.

She stepped into a dimly lit corridor. The wallpaper was peeling off the walls and the floorboards were coarse and rough.

She walked close to the wall, so as not to make a noise.

Suddenly she heard voices. One was Russian. The other was... muffled. Whoever the second voice was, they were definitely gagged.

That _had _to be Skulduggery.

The voices grew louder as Valkyrie stalked down the corridor.

She reached the door. The time for "undercover work" was finished. She wanted her best friend back.

Valkyrie opened the door, and saw Skulduggery gagged and bound to a chair in the middle of the room. A Russian stood with his back to her. He didn't turn around; instead saying something to her she didn't understand.

He thought she was one of his men.

She smiled. Her luck was working wonderfully.

When she didn't answer the Russian, he turned and had enough time to widen his eyes in surprise before Valkyrie launched a punch to his throat to silence him, and then a swift open-palmed punch to his temple.

He crumpled to the ground.

Valkyrie looked at Skulduggery. He'd stopped mumbling and was staring at her.

Suddenly she wanted to hit him. How could he leave her this way? They were meant to be partners.

She walked over to him, grabbing the key from the unconscious man and unlocking his shackles. He removed the gag.

"Valkyrie..." He began but the door opened and two more Russians stepped in.

Valkyrie didn't even give them a chance. She was mad. Fury bubbled in her throat as she took down the first man with a kick to the groin, followed by a bone crunching punch to the nose.

She turned to the second man and punched him in the chest. She felt his ribs crack and his sternum break. Valkyrie brought her foot into his knee, dislocating it. He cried out and swung his fist into her stomach. She gasped but pushed her knee into his chin and punched him hard in the face. He hit the ground next to his friends.

She turned back to Skulduggery who was now standing behind her.

"Valkyrie..." He tried again.

She turned and walked out.

He followed her.

"Valkyrie listen..."

She increased her pace, taking the stairs two at a time.

She stepped out onto the street, the cold air stinging her eyes.

How could he betray her like this?

"Valkyrie Cain."

His tone made her stop.

They were both standing in the middle of the street, two metres apart.

Skulduggery deactivated his facade.

"Please hear me out."

"Why? So I can hear your reasoned excuses as to why you abandoned me for no good reason? Have you been having fun, Skulduggery? Because I haven't. I've spent the last damn year travelling across the globe trying to find you. I thought something had happened to you. I thought you were in trouble. Instead, I find you working a case in St. Petersburg. You told me you "shouldn't be long." Why did you lie?"

"I have a very good reason, Valkyrie. You should have forgotten me."

Valkyrie scoffed and began to pace.

"I left for your own good."

"I don't need your protection!" She realised she was snarling.

"I was protecting both of us."

"From what?" She snapped.

"Me." Skulduggery closed the gap between them. Suddenly Valkyrie noticed how unsure he looked. He was holding himself differently.

She looked up at him. They were about thirty centimetres apart. Snow began to fall lightly, the brim of Skulduggery's hat catching flakes.

"I told you. You can be extraordinarily thick sometimes. How you haven't noticed amazes me, especially when you're meant to be a detective."

Valkyrie scowled. "I have no idea what you're talking about so just spit it out."

"I love you." He said it so quickly Valkyrie couldn't be sure.

"What did you just say?"

He groaned. "Don't make me say it again."

Valkyrie stared at him.

"So that's why I left. Because you and I are never going to be-"

Valkyrie stepped into Skulduggery and pressed her lips onto his teeth. Fireworks exploded somewhere in her body and she felt slightly giddy when she stepped away.

"You're the extraordinarily thick one." She smiled at him.

"Oh." He said simply, and activated the facade. Skulduggery leant in to kiss her again, but Valkyrie stepped back and promptly punched him in the face.

"Don't _ever _abandon me like that again."

He rubbed his jaw gingerly and nodded. "Promise."

He took her hand and all Valkyrie could think was:

_Found him. _

**Hope you enjoyed that. I've always wondered what would happen if Skulduggery and Valkyrie (not Vile and Darquesse) had an actual fight. Although I felt sick when they had their fight in Death Bringer. They must ALWAYS be friends.. :D**


	4. Skin and Bones

**VALDUGERRY! Sing-song voice. Hope you enjoy it! Please review! xD**

Valkyrie stared at the man, her face a mixture of disbelief and suspicion.

He took a step forward.

She took a step backwards.

She felt as if his eyes could see straight through her. The further away he was the better.

Oh where was Skulduggery? She really didn't feel like fighting a mysterious man in Skulduggery's lounge room at two in the afternoon. Plus he'd kill her if she made a mess.

The man tilted his head at her and Valkyrie stopped.

"Skulduggery?"

"Who else did you think it was?"

"Oh my God. You have a face."

"Yes I do."

"Like, an actual face."

She walked up to him and poked his forehead.

Valkyrie grinned up at him and began poking his cheeks and flicking his ears.

"This is so much more fun now you have skin."

Skulduggery grabbed her wrists and placed her arms back by her side.

"That's enough of that, thank you."

Valkyrie stepped back and looked him over. He was wearing a blue pin-striped suit and a dark blue hat. He had thick black hair, blue eyes that twinkled and a rather attractive face of a man in his mid twenties.

Valkyrie suddenly felt very nervous. She stared at the ground, unable to look at him anymore.

"Um. Is everything alright, Valkyrie?" Skulduggery had definitely noticed her abrupt mood change.

"Yeah. Yeah fine. You... you have a great face." She gestured lamely at him, still not looking at him.

She heard Skulduggery sigh and walk towards her.

"Valkyrie," he began patiently. "Just because I have a face now, doesn't mean I'm not the same person." He tilted Valkyrie's face to his. Valkyrie frowned and grabbed his hand. Her eyes widened.

"Your hands have skin!" She shrieked, all awkwardness forgotten. "Does all you have skin?"

"Well yes, but-"

"Does this mean you're alive? Do you have blood? Can you bruise? Can you die?"

"I suppose so, please don't get any ide-"

"Are you ticklish?"

"No. Definitely not."

Valkyrie's eyes narrowed and she began to stalk towards Skulduggery. He was trying, but failing to keep the grin off his face.

"Now now Valkyrie, I'm sure we can come to some sort of adult, mature agreement," he said quickly, still backing up with his hands in the air. His heels hit the back of the sofa and he dropped onto the cushion. Valkyrie pounced, digging her fingers into his ribs. Skulduggery started laughing, and quickly grabbed her wrists and flipped her, so she was looking up at him.

"Oh." She said.

"Oh indeed."

She noticed the evil glint in his eye.

"Now let's be mature about this," she began, but Skulduggery's hands were already at her ribs. He was relentless and soon she couldn't breathe; eyes watering.

"Stop..." Valkyrie gasped, then started giggling hysterically when Skulduggery raised an eyebrow.

"Say 'please'."

"Please. Please stop. I beg you."

Skulduggery laughed. "Valkyrie Cain; begging? Remind me to tickle you more often."

He released her, but stayed where he was; propping himself up on his elbow looking down at Valkyrie's face.

"You never answered all my questions you know."

"Do you blame me? I was attacked; unprovoked I'll have you know."

Valkyrie laughed, "Come on. Tell me. Are you human again? Did Wreath find a way to reverse what Tenebrae did?"

Skulduggery smiled and shook his head. "I'm still me, Valkyrie. One tap of my collar bone," he revealed his neck and Valkyrie saw symbols etched on his skin, much like a tattoo, "and I'll be a skeleton again. A very dapper skeleton, mind you."

Valkyrie nodded knowingly. "Of course."

"This is just a facade for my whole body. It means I don't have to wear gloves all the time, and I could go to the beach. I actually couldn't see a downside, until a few moments ago."

He narrowed his eyes at her, and she grinned.

"You're welcome. But seriously, does the facade function, does it work like a real human body?"

Skulduggery looked at her strangely.

"Why are you asking me that?"

"What?"

"What are you really trying to ask me?"

Valkyrie felt her face heat up. She thought she'd been subtle. Trust him to realise. Valkyrie tried to push him off but he simply shifted his body weight so that she was pinned beneath him.

"No running away Valkyrie. Answer the question. Look at me."

She shook her head, determined to never look him in the eye again.

"Too embarrassing." She mumbled.

He sighed and started tickling her again.

"Okay! Okay. I'll tell you. Just sit up, and close your eyes."

"If you try to run away Valkyrie I swear to God I'll-"

"I won't. Just do it."

He sat up, cross legged with his eyes close. Valkyrie sat up too, looking at him. She weighed up her options and then sighed. He'd definitely catch her.

She took a shaky breath and then leant towards him. She stopped centimetres from his face.

"Oh for God's sake." Skulduggery muttered and he opened his eyes, put his hand on Valkyrie's back and crushed his lips into hers.

Valkyrie reacted immediately. Her eyes snapped shut. She pushed her body into his and grasped his hair. They broke apart, Skulduggery grinning.

"I thought you were meant to be brave."

"Shut up." Valkyrie said, eyes still closed, head spinning.

Skulduggery kissed her, again and again until they were both lying back down on the couch. Skulduggery nuzzled her hair.

"So what was it you were trying to ask me?"

Valkyrie grimaced. "Do I have to tell you?"

"Yes."

She sighed, rolled over and whispered something in his ear. When she finished, she looked at him, half nervously, half curious.

Skulduggery remained impassive for a moment. Then he looked at her and a grin formed across his face. He kissed her hard and said;

"I'll guess we'll just have to find out."

**So I'm pretty sure if Valkyrie tickled Skulduggery in the books, he'd try to shoot her. And God knows what Valkyrie would do. So obviously, they broke character in this drabble of mine just a little bit. But that's okay, it won't happen too often. Promise :) Hope you liked it!**


	5. Bubbles and Vampires

Valkyrie sat in Skulduggery's bath, staring glumly at the bubbles that glistened in front of her. She tried lifting her left leg, hissed in pain and gave up.

She had a dislocated knee, punctured lung, broken arm, three fractured ribs and not one, but two black eyes.

Valkyrie _hated _Vampires.

Nye had run her a bath full of ointments and healing properties. Valkyrie had to admit the swelling on her knee had gone down a little and she could breathe a lot easier.

But no amount of the Doctor's magic tricks would improve her mood.

She was gingerly prodding her ribs when she heard the door open.

"Hey!" She called out, "Go away."

Skulduggery walked in and looked at her. She glowered at him, thankful the bubbles were covering her bruises. He took off his hat, and slid down the wall 'til he was seated on the bath mat.

Valkyrie scowled at him.

"It's not my fault." He protested, throwing up his hands.

"You fell off a bridge, leaving me to deal with three full-fledged Vampires." Valkyrie was hissing again, but not because of the pain.

"And I am very sorry about that, but I didn't _fall _off the bridge. You pushed me."

"I was thrown into you by a vampire. I don't think that counts as me pushing." Valkyrie said between gritted teeth. "You should have caught me." She added grumpily.

Skulduggery tilted his head at her but said nothing. Valkyrie continued to scowl and stare at the bubbles. She tried lifting her knee again but it was still too swollen. She growled in both pain and frustrating. Skulduggery scooted over to the side of the bath, resting his elbows on the side, head in his hands.

"Nye's done a good job," he admitted reluctantly, "You were half dead when they found you."

Valkyrie looked at him. "When _they _found me? Where were you?"

He cocked his head. "I had to finish off the Vampires," he said proudly. Then he faltered. "Well. A Vampire. You dealt pretty well with other two."

Valkyrie grinned. "You're impressed aren't you?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm disappointed. Valkyrie Cain can only handle two Vampires. Pathetic."

Valkyrie was still grinning, her face inches his from his.

"Admit it, and maybe I'll let you join me." She pressed her lips to his teeth.

His hand went to the back of her neck, pulling her closer. Valkyrie, forgetting her injured knee, tried to kneel and barked in pain. Skulduggery supported her weight immediately, shaking his head at her.

"You're so besotted with me you forget your injuries."

"Shut up." She half whimpered.

"I'd be embarrassed too. And you're going to get my suit wet." He said, shaking his head and lifting her effortlessly out of the bath.

"You're a moron." She whispered, covered in bubbles as Skulduggery carried her to bed.

**I've updated ALL the stories! I've been writing for two hours! :O Hope you like!**


	6. Secrets

"I'm not telling you, Valkyrie. So you may as well stop asking."

Valkyrie sat back in the Bentley's leather seat and frowned, annoyed again at Skulduggery.

"I don't understand why you won't tell me. Why is it such a big deal?"

"Because I know you, Valkyrie. You're not asking because you're curious; you'll start planning something." Skulduggery nearly shuddered.

"Just tell me. It's only a birthday."

"Nope. This conversation is over."

To say Valkyrie was mad would be an understatement. She said nothing to Skulduggery when he dropped her home, only slamming the door and storming inside.

Skulduggery shook his head and drove off, leaving her to cool off.

Valkyrie shot up to her bedroom window too fast, hitting her head on the ledge. She swore, rubbed her head and climbed through. She was grumpy. She kicked her desk viciously. Skulduggery wouldn't tell her when his birthday was because he thought she'd plan him a party. She didn't know what annoyed her more; that he wouldn't tell her or the fact that he was right.

She sat on the end of her bed, head in her hands.

Suddenly she looked up.

She didn't know when Skulduggery was born, but she knew when he died. She knew when he became _her _Skulduggery.

She stopped. Her Skulduggery... Where had that come from?

She pushed the thought out of her head and walked over to her calendar hanging by the door. It was the 6th of October. Skulduggery died on the 23rd of October. Two weeks. That was enough time for her to organise something. A smile formed on her face: time to make some phone calls.

. . .

When Skulduggery came to pick her up the next day, Valkyrie got in the car with a smile on her face.

"Morning!" She said brightly.

Skulduggery looked at her, eye sockets giving nothing away. He drummed his gloved fingers once on the steering wheel.

"That's it?" He asked suspiciously.

"That's what?"

He drummed his fingers again. "I was expecting frowning. And pouting. Maybe kicking. Definitely sulking.

Valkyrie laughed. "If you don't want to tell me, it's fine. I was grumpy last night but now I'm over it."

Skulduggery stared at her, before saying, "Alright Valkyrie, we'll play it your way." He put the Bentley in gear, "I just hope you realise reverse psychology doesn't work on me."

Valkyrie smiled and looked out the window, saying nothing.

The drove the rest of the way in silence. Valkyrie sneaked a few glances at Skulduggery and noticed he seemed confused. She grinned. Payback was feeling great.

. . .

_October 23__rd__ 2012_

"I still don't understand _why _Gordon wants to see me," Skulduggery was saying as he switched the ignition off. Valkyrie climbed out the passenger seat.

"Don't look at me," Valkyrie shrugged. "All I know is when I popped round to say hi last night he asked to see you. He didn't say why, just that it was important."

Skulduggery sighed and locked the Bentley. "It's a Tuesday Valkyrie. I am very busy on Tuesdays." He straightened his hat as they began walking toward the front door.

Valkyrie snorted.

"Well that's an attractive noise," Skulduggery said as they reached the door.

"You love me."

The words were out of Valkyrie's mouth and before she knew it, the atmosphere was tense. Skulduggery had turned to face her, standing on the front door step.

Valkyrie quickly pushed past him, fumbling the keys.

"Gordon will be waiting. You know what he's like when we're late," Valkyrie muttered.

"Of course." Skulduggery said, though Valkyrie detected a note of uncertainty in his voice and for some reason her heart started pounding wildly.

They stepped the dark entrance hall and Valkyrie switched on the light.

"SURPRISE!"

People leapt out of the doors lining the corridor, filling the space.

Valkyrie joined them, turning to face Skulduggery who was frozen by the open door. She grinned, all of the previous awkwardness forgotten.

"You wouldn't tell me when your birthday was, so I figured we'd celebrate the day you became," she paused. She'd nearly said 'my Skulduggery.' She took a nervous breath, "the Skulduggery we all know and love today."

Skulduggery sighed and shook his head.

"You're a menace, Valkyrie Cain."

Valkyrie grinned and looked at her feet; hands stuffed in her coat jacket pockets.

Somewhere out the back music started and people began to greet Skulduggery and Valkyrie, warm smiles, handshakes and hugs. Some people had even brought gifts for Skulduggery, which he accepted gracefully and placed on the table.

Valkyrie wandered off to another table and began picking at some cheese and crackers. She looked around the room, smiling slightly at what she had achieved. Ghastly and Erksine were talking to Gordon who was gesturing grandly. There were a few others from the Sanctuary, like Clarabelle who stood out with her blue hair and a couple of Sanctuary Officials who had helped them out on cases before. Others were old friends of Skulduggery's that Valkyrie had managed to tracked down. She was very pleased with herself.

Valkyrie found herself looking across the dance floor. She was reminded of the Requiem Ball and smiled at the memory. She saw Fletcher and his Australian girlfriend dancing slowly. She waved when Fletcher looked at her and he grinned back.

Valkyrie turned and saw Skulduggery looking at her. She spun back around, nervous all over again. Gordon appeared in front of her and congratulated her on such a successful surprise party. She thanked him and hurriedly excused herself, heading for the back door. She opened the sliding door and sat down on the veranda, the fresh air cooling her face.

There were fairy lights in the trees and the grass was cut. Thankfully nobody had gone outside yet so Valkyrie was alone.

She heard the sliding door opened and frowned, turning around to tell whoever it was to go away. Her mouth went dry when she saw it was Skulduggery. He walked over to her and held out a gloved hand. Valkyrie sighed and took it, Skulduggery pulling her to her feet. She went to let go but he led her to the middle of the garden and spun her. She laughed.

"What are you doing?"

He spun her again and then wrapped an arm around her waist and began dancing slowly.

"Dancing with you." He tilted his head at her and she grinned.

"Enjoying your party?"

She heard him sigh.

"I knew you hadn't let it go. I was being hopeful I guess."

"Just say thank you."

"For what?"

Valkyrie looked up at him. "For organising you an amazing birthday party. There are nibbles," she said, "cheese, salami, even _cake._"

"All that is wonderful but you are forgetting two very important things; one: I can't eat so your evidence for an amazing party is null and void. Two: it's not my birthday."

"Fine." She grumbled. "But today is the day you came back so that counts for something."

"No it's not. Today is the day I died; I didn't come back til a few days afterwards. So technically you're celebrating my death..." He paused. "What kind of friend are you?"

Valkyrie looked up at him, horrified. Skulduggery chuckled. "I'm teasing."

She buried her head in his shirt. He rested his chin on her head as they danced around the garden.

"Thank you." Skulduggery said quietly after a few moments.

Valkyrie smiled and looked at him. "You're welcome."

"Did you get me a present?"

"I did. Activate your facade. I want to see the surprise on your face."

Skulduggery did as she asked and looked at her expectantly. She looked into blue eyes.

"Close your eyes," she commanded.

He shut his eyes muttering, "Bossy".

Valkyrie took a deep breath and stood on her toes. She leant up and kissed Skulduggery gently on the lips.

She pulled away.

"Say something. Open your eyes."

Skulduggery opened his eyes; bright blue piercing dark brown.

"Thank you." He said again.

Valkyrie frowned. "For what?"

Skulduggery leant in and kissed her again, pulling her closer to him.

"For this."

**God this is long. It's taken me two hours to write. I think I'm suffering a small case of writers' block. I've sort of run out of inspiration. I'm really tired and really sad. Hopefully it'll pass soon. I'll update soon, promise. :) **

**Enjoy! **


	7. Charming

Light shone through Valkyrie's curtains, making her groan. She buried her head deeper into her bed covers and sniffed.

Still sick.

This was the third day in a row that Valkyrie had been bedridden. She wasn't sure she could keep it from Skulduggery much longer.

When she woke up on Monday with a pounding headache and aching muscles she'd simply rung him and said she wanted to spend some time with Alice, since they weren't busy. He'd been fine with that.

On Tuesday the aching muscles had been replaced by a fever, blocked nose and cough. Valkyrie texted Skulduggery and said Carol and Crystal wanted to practice magic. Skulduggery okayed it, saying there was no immediate trouble and was looking forward to some time without Valkyrie annoying him.

She didn't think she'd get away with three days in a row though. Valkyrie's head was so sore she couldn't even lift it, let alone think of an excuse.

Trying to ignore the dizziness in her head, she sat up and grabbed a tissue. She blew her nose noisily.

"I forgot how disgusting the human body is." Said a voice from the corner of her room.

Valkyrie jumped and then clutched her head, groaning.

"Shuddub." She said, her blocked nose making it hard to talk. "Whad are you doing here?"

"I wanted to know why my partner has been avoiding me for two days." Skulduggery's eye sockets surveyed her and Valkyrie suddenly felt uncomfortable.

"Stob looking ab me. I'b hideous." Valkyrie lay back down and was relieved as the dizziness began to recede.

"You're always hideous." Skulduggery said affectionately, placing his hat on her desk and sitting on the edge of her bed. "Why didn't you tell me you were sick? I thought you were angry at me."

"Because then you bight think I'b weak. A cold has me bedridden." She gestured and regretted the move instantly, closing her eyes and holding her head. "Why would I be mad ad you?" She sniffed again and grabbed another tissue.

"I don't know," Skulduggery said as he passed her a glass of water, "I was just worried."

Valkyrie smiled as she sipped her water.

"You bade be feel bedder."

"What was that?"

"Shhh. I'm feberish. I don't know what I'b saying."

Skulduggery nodded. "I'm going to leave you to sleep now. I'll come back later this afternoon, okay?"

Valkyrie struggled to sit up.

"Waid," she said, "Can I hab a hug before you go?"

"But... You're all gross and sickly," Skulduggery said with a smile in his voice.

"Don't be horrible." Valkyrie tried not to pout.

"You are though. Hideous, to use your description."

Before Valkyrie could even consider sneezing all over his suit, Skulduggery pulled her tightly into his arms.

After a few minutes they pulled apart, Skulduggery resting his forehead on Valkyrie's. She welcomed the coolness of his skull. She sneakily tapped the symbols on his collarbone and kissed him gently on the lips.

Skulduggery sighed and kissed her back.

"You're going to make me sick." Skulduggery said when they broke apart, gently laying her back on the bed.

"You're dead. Thad's the worst sick you can be."

Valkyrie's eyes were closed as she snuggled back into the warmth, consciousness fast leaving her.

She didn't see Skulduggery roll his eyes at her, or hear him mutter;

"Charming. I love you too."

**FINALLY! An update. I'm really sorry it's been so long. I work full time at a restaurant/club/bar/hotel and it's just been crazy! I'm trying to save for Uni next year so I'm working as much as possible. Plus lots of not nice things have happened this past week so I've had it up to here! *gestures with hand*. **

**But anyway! Here's a relatively short one-shot for you. _Supreme Epic nes _gave me a brilliant idea for a story that I will DEFINITELY be writing. Thanks so much. :) **

**I'll update (ALL the stories) again on Tuesday. That's my day off.**

**Sort of. **


	8. Tigers

"Steph?" Valkyrie's mum called up the stairs. "Come on Steph, hurry up. Alice is ready and waiting."

"Yeah I'm coming, hang on." Valkyrie called from her room. She looked at the man standing by her window.

"I'll meet you outside Haggard Inn in twenty minutes, okay?" Valkyrie pulled on her boots. "Thank you for agreeing to this."

Skulduggery crossed his arms, his facade frowning. "It's not like I had much of a choice. 'They'll be tigers, Skulduggery! And lions! Oh my God lions!'" He stopped mimicking her and grinned. "But you're welcome."

"Shut up. You're just as excited as I am." Valkyrie grabbed her wallet and phone. "See you later." She waved goodbye to Skulduggery's shaking head, shut to door and took the stairs two at a time.

"I'm ready Mum!"

Alice gurgled happily and ran over to Valkyrie, cooing her name. Valkyrie grinned and picked her up while Valkyrie's Mum was packing a bag.

"So in here, there are diapers, powder, a jar of baby food, wipes-".

"Mum," Valkyrie interrupted. "We'll be fine. We're just going to the zoo."

"I know, I know. Thank you for doing this Steph. You're Dad really needs my support today. This meeting could get him the deal of the year."

"It's fine Mum, really. It'll be great. I feel like I've barely seen Alice recently."

Alice curled her fingers around Valkyrie's hair and began chewing it.

"See? It'll be fine. I'll see you tonight, okay? Bye Mum, love you."

Valkyrie grabbed the bag of baby things and began the walk to the bus stop at Haggard Inn. It was a short walk through an avenue of trees and across the green but Alice kept stopping and picking up twigs and leaves. Twice Valkyrie had to stop her from eating dirt.

When they finally reached the Haggard Inn, the Bentley was already waiting. Valkyrie picked up her sister, "C'mon Alice, there's our ride."

. . .

Valkyrie could hardly sit still on the drive to Dublin Zoo. Alice picked up on her excitement and cooed, much to Skulduggery's amusement. Valkyrie tapped her foot impatiently as they waited in line. Alice was perched on her hip and kept reaching for Skulduggery. Valkyrie watched; amused as Alice's baby fingers reached closer and closer to Skulduggery's hat. Valkyrie inched forward and Alice grabbed, snatching it off his head. Skulduggery turned; a bemused expression on his face.

"Valkyrie I will be holding you responsible for whatever happens today. Even if it's Alice's fault." He placed his hat on Alice's head, making her giggle. Valkyrie just grinned.

After another five minutes of waiting, Skulduggery had bought their tickets and they looked at the map.

"We should start here," Skulduggery pointed a gloved finger at a picture of a panda, "and then make our way round in-"

"We want to see the tigers. Don't we Alice?"

Alice squawked and Valkyrie nodded.

"To the tigers."

Skulduggery sighed and folded the map away. They were going to be here for hours.

. . .

Alice was asleep on Valkyrie's shoulder as they made their way back from the bears. Under Valkyrie's other arm was a stuffed lion, and Skulduggery was carrying a small bag that Valkyrie was not allowed to look in.

They drove back to Valkyrie's house in comfortable silence. Skulduggery dropped her off a few houses down.

"Valkyrie..." Skulduggery started, before she shut the door. "I'm going to come around at 8, okay?"

"Okay." Valkyrie dragged out the word. "How come? I didn't know we had anything on."

"We don't. I'm just coming at 8." Skulduggery tapped his collarbone and Valkyrie could have sworn she'd caught a blush creeping up his neck.

"Alright. I'll be in my room, see you then."

She closed the door and watched the Bentley drive off. She shook her head and walked back to the house. What was he up to?

Her mum and dad were home and babbled excitedly about their day. She hugged her dad when he said he got the deal, and laughed when Alice wouldn't let go of the lion as her mum put her to bed. They asked Valkyrie questions about the zoo, which she answered but if she was honest, she wasn't really paying attention. Her mind kept wandering to Skulduggery. Why did he want to see her? Why was she so nervous?

Eventually Valkyrie excused herself from the dinner table, explaining she was tired from the zoo and not that hungry. Her parents smiled and were immediately lost in each other. Valkyrie smiled to herself. They hadn't had much time with each other since Alice was born. Valkyrie knew she would be left alone for the evening.

She shut the door to her room and let out a sigh.

"Anyone would think you're not excited to see me."

Valkyrie jumped and turned to see Skulduggery, no facade, sat on her bed. She shook her head at him and went over. She grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest as she sat down.

"I'm just tired I guess."

"You're as bad as Alice." Skulduggery teased.

Valkyrie smiled. "So what was in the bag?"

"What bag?"

"The bag I wasn't allowed to look in. I want my present. That's why you're here now, isn't it?"

"You're so annoying."

"I learnt from the best. Plus I'm a detective."

Skulduggery sighed and pulled a small wrapped parcel from his pocket.

"It's nothing big," he said as he gave it to her, "just something to say thanks."

"To say thanks for what?" She asked as began to tear the brown paper. Valkyrie opened the small box. Inside was a beautiful tiger brooch, with emerald eyes and gold outline.

"For saving my life, for always being there for me and for being my partner."

Valkyrie looked at him, unsure of what to say.

Skulduggery laughed and took the brooch from her, gently pinning it to her t-shirt.

"I'll always be here." She said softly. He looked up; faces inches away from each other.

Skulduggery's hand made its way to his collarbone but Valkyrie stopped him. Their fingers entwined, Valkyrie closed her eyes and felt Skulduggery's cool teeth on her lips.

She wasn't sure what she loved more; kissing Skulduggery or the way his arm tightened around her waist and pulled her into him. He let go of her hand and activated his facade.

"I need to kiss you back." He said breathlessly. Soon enough, Valkyrie found herself looking into green eyes. They stared at each other for a few seconds longer before Skulduggery's lips reclaimed hers. He pulled her back on to the bed, so she was lying on top of him. Valkyrie couldn't even think. She just needed more Skulduggery. Suddenly she was lying underneath him and the kisses were growing more urgent. She knotted her hands in his hair and groaned when he pulled away.

"Valkyrie..." He all but gasped.

Valkyrie couldn't do anything but laugh breathlessly.

"Valkyrie, I need to leave." Skulduggery sat up.

"What? Why?" Valkyrie leant on her elbows, raising an eyebrow at Skulduggery.

He faltered. "I'm... I'm not sure. I thought maybe I'd crossed a line." He finished lamely.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and dragged his face back to hers.

"You're welcome." She said into his lips.

**I know I suck. I have millions of legit excuses as to why I haven't updated. Anyway, here it is, finally. :) The idea for this story came from Supreme epic nes. Thank you! It took me a long time to write this. I hope you enjoy!**


	9. Nightmares

"_SKULDUGGERY!" Valkyrie screamed, but it was too late. She could only watch in horror as he was sucked into the yellow. _

_She fell to her knees as the portal closed. _

"_Skulduggery! Open it! Get him back." She cried desperately, ignoring the tears that poured down her face. _

"_I can't." Replied a helpless looking Fletcher. "He's gone."_

Valkyrie sat bolt right up. She was in bed, soaked in sweat. She closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing.

'_Every damn night', s_he thought. Of all the things that had happened to her, that was the one she dreamt about the most.

"Bad dream?" Said a voice from the corner of her room.

Valkyrie swallowed hard.

"Yeah. There was this massive rabbit right, and it thought I was a carrot and-"

"A rabbit called Skulduggery?" The voice sounded sceptical. "It sounded like you were experiencing a very vivid memory."

Valkyrie sighed. "Was I sleep talking a lot?"

"Enough for me to know exactly what you were dreaming about."

Valkyrie switched on her bedside lamp and looked at Skulduggery sitting on her floor, leant up against the wall.

"Do you often watch me sleep? That's such a Caelan thing to do..."

He tilted his skull at her. "I thought we didn't talk about Vampires."

She shrugged. "I think I'm over it now."

"So you're over something that happened last year? Yet I was dragged into the Faceless Ones reality over three years ago and you're still dreaming about it?"

Valkyrie pulled the covers around herself and frowned.

"I hate it when you use logic against me."

Skulduggery walked over to join her, tilting her head up so her eyes met his.

"I'm here. I'm not leaving. Please stop dreaming about it, I don't like it when you call out in your sleep."

She grinned at him. "Why? Because you're worried about me? Are you admitting that you care for me, maybe love me?"

Skulduggery let go of chin and she saw shadows flicker in his sockets.

"Don't be ridiculous. You woke me up, that's all."

"You don't sleep." She said as she sat up, moving closer towards him.

Skulduggery activated his facade and tried to look impassive.

"I meditate." He said, failing to keep the smile off his face.

"Not when I'm around."

Valkyrie wrapped her arms around his neck as he claimed her waist. Skulduggery pulled her close and kissed her, revelling in her warmth and scent. Soon enough he found himself lying on top of her, bed covers on the floor. He trailed kisses along her jaw as she ran her fingers through his dark brown hair. Valkyrie moaned quietly when he began kissing her collarbone. She so desperately wanted him to keep going, but she knew he wouldn't.

Valkyrie stifled a gasp when he reclaimed her lips and she felt his hand slowly travel up her t-shirt. This was new. She uttered silent thanks that she wasn't wearing a bra and began to do some exploring of her own. For the hundredth time, she was grateful for China for giving Skulduggery not only a face, but a fully functioning body.

Valkyrie began to unbuckle Skulduggery's belt, desperately hoping that he wouldn't stop what he was doing. He had very talented hands and she was beginning to feel very warm in the lower region of stomach. Valkyrie pushed herself closer to Skulduggery and undid the button of his trousers. She waited a few seconds before unzipping his fly, giddy with both excitement and pleasure.

Just as she slid her fingers under the waistband of his briefs, a hand tightened around her wrist and left her chest. Valkyrie came crashing back to reality and pulled away from Skulduggery's lips, panting and pouting.

"No fair." She said breathlessly.

Skulduggery looked at her, eyebrow raised. "I'm hardly going to ruin your virtue while your parents are sleeping in the next room."

Valkyrie snorted, "Virtue smirtue. Let's go to your house then."

He shook his head and rolled to the side, doing up his trousers and propping himself up on an elbow.

"Did I ever tell you you have a penchant for raising cain?"

Valkyrie grinned as she snuggled up to him. "You may have mentioned it once or twice."

Skulduggery leant down to kiss her forehead but she looked up so he caught her lips instead.

Within seconds he was on top of her and the whole affair began again.


	10. Halloween

Valkyrie stood on the roof of a building in the city of Dublin overlooking the streets. It was nearly 5pm and already growing dark. The wind had picked up and was whipping Valkyrie's dark hair around her face. Today was October 30th and Valkyrie was watching families do last minute shops for Halloween.

Valkyrie loved Halloween.

She supposed that was ironic considering every day of her life resembled Halloween, but there was something about _everyone _getting involved. For one day, everyone else 'believed' in witches and wizards, spells and potions. For one day, everyone believed in magic.

Halloween made Valkyrie feel normal.

A cold chill ran up Valkyrie's spine as she began to walk down the fire escape. It was going to be a cold winter. She reached the bottom of the stairs and wrapped her coat around her tightly; an attempt to keep the warmth in.

She checked her watch. Still 15 minutes before Skulduggery was picking her up to take her home. Valkyrie decided to wander through the street market. As she picked up a snow globe with a skeleton inside, her mind travelled to what she was going to endure tonight. It was her parents turn to throw the annual Edgley Halloween Party. Valkyrie groaned inwardly as she paid the woman for the snow globe. The reunion was bad enough.

To top that off, she had _another _Halloween party at Gordon's house, only this one was actually on Halloween. The only benefit was Skulduggery was going. She suppressed a smile when she considered his costume options.

As Valkyrie rounded the corner leaving the markets behind, she saw the Bentley. She increased her pace, desperately wanting to shove her fingers in the heater. By the time she reached the car she was practically running; wrenched the door open and flung herself on the seat.

"Oh my God it's cold." She said through chattering teeth. "Quick, start the car, turn the heater on."

Skulduggery stared at her through dark sockets and very slowly raised his hand. Valkyrie watched, confused. He placed his gloved thumb and middle finger together then clicked, causing a small flame to rise instantly.

"Oh." Valkyrie mumbled, and did the same. She instantly felt warmer.

"I feel honoured to have such an intelligent partner."

"Shut up. My brain's frozen."

"You can't always blame the weather Valkyrie."

He sounded exasperated but Valkyrie had a feeling he was smiling.

She grinned at him. "You love me."

"I wish I'd never told you that." He sighed.

"And because you love me," she continued, "you'd rescue me from any danger, right?"

"You're going to your family's party, regardless of my feelings." Now she knew he was smiling.

Skulduggery pulled up a block away from her house. Valkyrie unbuckled seat belt and leant over to him.

"You could come with me." She said quietly. "They'd just think you have a really cool costume."

Skulduggery chuckled and brushed a windswept strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Nice try. But you'll live."

"Fine." She said rather grumpily. "Guess I'll see you tomorrow."

Valkyrie turned to leave but Skulduggery's hand caught her elbow and when she looked around she was staring into the dark blue eyes of a brown haired man.

"A very handsome man." Skulduggery said.

"I swear you can read my mind sometimes." Valkyrie frowned but didn't resist when he pulled her closer.

The corners of his mouth twitched as if he was trying not to smirk. Valkyrie opened her mouth to question him more but he silenced her with a kiss.

When they pulled apart Skulduggery was a skeleton again, and was tilting his head at Valkyrie in a questioning manner.

Valkyrie shrugged and kissed him gently on his cheek bone.

"Happy Halloween Skulduggery."

**I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO TELL YOU GUYS! :O **

**Okay first thing is: I made "The Amulet of Dreymus Foul" into an actual hardcover book! I went on to this really cool website called Blurb, downloaded the bookmaking software, uploaded my story and then two weeks later they've sent me my book! So I will eventually upload a picture of the cover. xD So that's exciting. **

**What else... OH! I'm not better yet. That's why I've been so absent from the internets. Although my Kidneys have healed, I just feel so drained. And then I've been doing stupid shifts at work; i.e. 12pm-1am with only a 40 minute break. Yeeeaaahhhhh. **

**I've had my first negative review! But it wasn't really a review. This is it: **

dont b stupid oh wai do pple ship valduggerey its absolutely revolting and 2 even think bout the very idea is ridiculous 4 gods sake he is over 400 she is a fricken teen can pple plz stop being sick minded and com 2 their senses hardly anyone ships fletcherie even tho its perfect and tru if u gus think of shipping valduggerey face it ur not a proper skullduggerey pleasant fan  
coz val and skull. r best friends that always rely on each other but they dont want to start dating thinnk about it ok plz

**Whoever posted this did so anonymously, but I wouldn't out them anyway. I do have a couple of things to say. **

**First of all: I make the effort to double check my stories for grammatical and spelling errors. I'm not perfect, but I try. It hurts my eyes to read this. **

**Second: If you don't support Valduggery, I completely understand. It's the equivalent of when I shipped Rose and the Doctor. He's an Alien over 900 years old and she was a 19 year old girl. I get it; it's gross in a way. Skulduggery's a living dead man, a Skeleton and Valkyrie's a 17 year old girl. **

**It's also not real. So I don't think anyone needs to get _too _upset over the logistics of it all. **

**AND, (this is what annoyed me most) If you don't like Valduggery, why did you read a story that is called... wait for it, VALDUGGERY..? It feels like you're just being deliberately rude and hurtful. **

**Why would you do that? That's not very nice. *sadface* **

**Thirdly: Even Derek doesn't ship Fletcher and Valkyrie. I'm guessing that's why he wrote in the plot about her cheating on him? And why pretty much all the characters know Skulduggery and Valkyrie's lives revolve around each other, no one else. China says it herself in the fourth book, right before Valkyrie steps into the Faceless Ones' reality.**

**Finally; A quote from the man himself: "... a beautiful young lady and a charismatic genius centuries old... come on, how could you NOT ship that?)." – Derek Landy. **

**But honestly, thank you for the review. It inspired me to write another story. :) **


	11. Magic Mishaps

**I feel like I should warn you that this gets a little... Heavy. Probably M.**

**It's definitely not inspired by my weird obsession with Halloween and romance novels. And I definitely have not spent the last week holed up in my room with the flu doing nothing but reading said soppy romance stories and carving pumpkins. **

**No. Definitely not. **

**On a completely unrelated note; I carved a Cheshire Cat Pumpkin and totally ship the Mad Hatter and Alice (from Tim Burton's adaption of course). **

**You've been warned.**

**:) **

Valkyrie felt strange as she slowly sat up in bed. As she looked around her room she became aware that something was wrong with her vision.

Her peripheral vision had improved ten-fold. She raised a hand to rub her eyes. She froze as she realised what she'd just seen.

Her hand had no skin.

Trying not to scream at what had happened to her body; Valkyrie leapt out of bed and stared at herself in the mirror.

Or rather, stared at Skulduggery.

"Oh my God." She whispered, and then began to freak out over how deep her voice was.

Just as she was about to peak down the white shirt, the window opened and a voice that sounded extremely familiar said;

"Excuse me. What do you think you're doing?"

Valkyrie leapt back in fright as she watched herself climb through the window.

Only it wasn't her. It was Skulduggery. Even though in Skulduggery's body she towered over her own, he still managed to look more sophisticated.

Skulduggery folded his arms, or rather her arms, this was getting confusing. Anyway, Skulduggery raised an eyebrow.

"You're me and I'm you." She whispered pointing a skeletal finger at him.

"Oh my. What gave it away?" Skulduggery said dryly, rolling his eyes.

Valkyrie placed her hands on the bony hips that protruded from the tailor made pinstripe trousers.

"Can you not act like a brat?" She said, enthralled with how wonderful Skulduggery's voice sounded.

"Can you not make me look like a girl?" Skulduggery sighed as he sat down on her bed.

Valkyrie shrugged and took her hands off her hips and turned to check herself in the mirror again.

"And stop doing that!"

Valkyrie chuckled. "You sound like such a girl. Oh look now you're pouting. Bless."

"Fine." Skulduggery took off the long black coat Valkyrie loved so much.

If Valkyrie could have, she would have narrowed her eyes.

"What are you doing?" She asked suspiciously.

"If you get to 'check me out'," Skulduggery made quotation marks in the air, "then I get to do the same."

And then he proceeded to look down his top. Or Valkyrie's top. Whatever, it didn't really matter because Valkyrie had pounced and pinned Skulduggery's wandering hands to the bed.

"Don't even think about it." She growled, liking how dark her voice sounded and marvelling at how strong Skulduggery's body was.

The smile she got back was infuriating and Valkyrie silently promised that when she got her body back, she was going to torture Skulduggery.

"Huh." Skulduggery said, suddenly looking a little confused.

"What?" Valkyrie asked, a little distracted by how pretty her face was.

"My body, or rather, your body, seems to be responding to your body, or rather, my body lying on top of me. Or you." He furrowed his brow and shook his head slightly.

"What?" Valkyrie bit out, worrying about how her body might be betraying her deepest, darkest secrets.

Skulduggery stretched out his arms behind his head and smirked up at Valkyrie.

"Well well well. Looks like someone's in lo-."

Suddenly it all went dark in Valkyrie's head and she felt weak. She heard Skulduggery calling out her name and vaguely felt skin press on the cold bone that was her head.

_Interesting, _she thought as she drifted into unconsciousness, _Skulduggery's bone reacts like skin."_

. . .

When Valkyrie woke up the second time, the first thing she did was look at her hands. Never before had she been so relieved to see skin. She felt her face, gently poking her eyes and tugging on her lip. Valkyrie lay back on her pillow and then sat up again and looked down her top. It seemed everything was back to normal. Of course it was; it was just a dream. She let out a shaky laugh.

A quiet chuckle from the corner of her darkened room had her nearly jumping out of her skin.

"God! Skulduggery. I had the weirdest dream."

Skulduggery sat crossed legged at the end of her bed and laced his fingers together.

"Do tell." He said as he activated his facade and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

Valkyrie began recounting her dream, deciding to leave out the part where she ended up on top him. When she finished Skulduggery looked highly amused.

"So what you're saying is you had my body and you didn't once try to do any magic?"

Valkyrie faltered. "Well. No. I was more concerned about the fact that I was a skeleton and you kept trying to perv."

"So were you."

"I wasn't!" Valkyrie huffed exasperatedly. "I just wanted to see..." She stopped. "Wait a minute, I never said I was."

She looked at Skulduggery's smiling face, his head cocked.

"You also left out the part where you were on top of me and your body got a little excited."

"Oh God." Valkyrie put her head in her hands. "It wasn't a dream."

"Nope!" Skulduggery sounded way too cheerful. "Our magic fluxed. And apparently we're so similar it got mixed up trying to return to the correct vessel."

"Right." Valkyrie mumbled, still not looking up.

"Surely the great Valkyrie Cain isn't embarrassed?"

Valkyrie heard the teasing note in Skulduggery's voice as she felt his hands around her wrists, pulling her hands down from her face.

His hand went to her face, tilting her chin up 'til her eyes met his.

"You're so in love with me." He said triumphantly, completely ruining the moment.

Valkyrie rolled her eyes and reclaimed her chin, drawing her knees up to her chest.

"You're such a goon."

"You haven't denied it."

"That's because I'm ignoring you."

"You're not doing a very good job."

Valkyrie didn't answer.

"Ahh. I see. You're starting now. Well in that case you won't mind if I do this."

Skulduggery shrugged out of his jacket and placed it carefully over her desk chair. He then turned his attention back to Valkyrie, who had promptly closed her eyes in the hope that Skulduggery would go away and leave her to die of embarrassment.

What Valkyrie didn't see was Skulduggery smile and lean towards her. She did, however, feel his lips brush gently against hers. Neither of them were prepared for her reaction. She groaned into his kiss and pulled him back on to the bed.

Skulduggery held himself with one hand for support as he deepened the kiss. Valkyrie pushed her body up and knocked Skulduggery's hand out from underneath him so he fell on top of her completely. Her heart fluttered when she heard him moan as she untucked his shirt.

Skulduggery's hands began to do some exploring of their own, his lips never left hers except when he pulled her t-shirt off. Valkyrie looked into Skulduggery's emerald eyes for a few seconds before possessing his lips again.

She felt him smile and as he trailed kisses down her throat and chest she couldn't help throw her head back and sigh his name.

When he reached her abdomen and began pulling down her pyjama shorts she began moaning his name, uttering silent thanks that her family had left for brunch and a day trip into Dublin.

Skulduggery sat up, tossing the now unimportant pyjamas over his shoulder. He crawled back up to Valkyrie and began kissing her again, albeit more urgently.

Valkyrie had never been so turned on in her life. She pushed Skulduggery over and straddled him, staring at him while she unclipped her bra and slid it off.

Skulduggery sat up and pulled her close, sweeping a strand of dark hair away from her face.

"Valkyrie..." He whispered, their noses touching.

"Skulduggery." She murmured quietly, completely lost in his voice and the intimacy of the moment.

Skulduggery couldn't think of anything to say so instead he kissed her again, pulling her back on top of him.

Valkyrie went willingly, whispering his name over and over again.

Her partner. Her best friend. Her lover.


	12. Muddy Fields

Valkyrie pushed herself off the wet ground and turned to face her assailant.

She had been taking a walk through the fields behind her school when the skies had darkened. Valkyrie thought it had been a bit odd; one minute sunshine, the next thunder and lightning. So when a tall, dark figure stepped in front of her and began hurling fireballs, she decided to blame him for the weather change.

"Who are you?" She called out but a crack of thunder drowned out her voice.

He was cloaked in black, though the water seemed not to touch him. He was taller than Valkyrie but she didn't recognise him. It had to be someone Skulduggery annoyed.

Grumbling, Valkyrie splayed her hands; sending a blast of air in the man's direction. She wanted nothing more than to relax into a nice warm bubble bath.

The man dodged her attack, sending a wall of water Valkyrie's way. She avoided it and returned the attack with some vicious fireballs.

When the smoke cleared, he was nowhere to be seen. Valkyrie stood in the middle of the muddy field, panting and squinting. She didn't think she'd hit him. Not that it mattered, she was already running towards the school.

Suddenly the ground cracked and Valkyrie came to a sudden halt. Looking down, she realised that her legs were trapped in mud. Using all her strength she wrenched her leg up, but it was no good. The ground appeared to be travelling up her legs.

Soon Valkyrie was caked in earth all the way up to her waist. The more she struggled, the further up her body it travelled. Someone was controlling the earth.

Valkyrie only knew of one person that could do that.

Skulduggery.

She knew he was annoyed she'd missed their training session yesterday, but she didn't think he'd get homicidal over it.

Rolling her eyes (which resulted in earth covering her stomach; so he _could_ see her) Valkyrie began focusing on the rain that was pouring down on and around her. She manipulated it with her hands, using the running water to cut grooves into the mud. Soon enough she was free and spun around to see Skulduggery's smiling skull looking down at her.

Valkyrie opened her mouth to ask just what the hell he thought he was doing when she went flying back into the mud again.

Cursing his name, Valkyrie stood up and narrowly dodged a fireball.

"Excellent job. You're doing fantastically."

Valkyrie swore again and this time he heard it.

"Now now, my student." He clasped his fingers together. "No need for that."

Skulduggery displaced the air but Valkyrie was one step ahead of him. She darted around the blast and wrapped her arms around his waist, tackling him to the ground. She pinned his arms above his head, the ends of her hair brushing against his cheek bones.

"What now?" Asked Skulduggery. "Because there are many ways I can escape-."

Valkyrie silenced him by leaning down and gently kissing his teeth.

Skulduggery flipped Valkyrie onto her back and activated his facade, deepening the kiss.

Valkyrie felt the rain stop and broke away.

"Since when can you control the weather?"

"Since when do you kiss someone to finish a fight?"

"Only when it's you." Valkyrie grinned and splayed her hands on his chest, throwing Skulduggery into a puddle of mud.

**I would really REALLY love to read an actual training session between Skulduggery and Valkyrie. Especially the hand-to-hand combat ones. I think it would be hilarious. **

**Anyway, here's a short little piece that I hope you all enjoy. xD **


	13. Early Start - Part One

"I was so warm and cosy. You probably don't even need my help."

No answer.

"Come on there's still time for me to go back to sleep, the sun's not even up yet."

Not a word.

"Answer me Skulduggery or so help me I will start singing."

"There is no need for such drastic measures Valkyrie. And I'm not taking you home. You can sleep now in the car."

"I didn't even know you had a Great Aunt. How on earth is she still alive, what with you being so old and all."

"Charming. You're still annoyed about our training session aren't you?"

"You tried to kill me." Valkyrie said with a yawn.

Skulduggery ignored that. "She's one of those aunts that isn't actually an aunt."

Valkyrie stared at him. "Right."

"You sound bemused."

"I am, very much so."

Valkyrie heard Skulduggery chuckle.

"Her family were close to mine for generations. She's the only one left of hers, just like I am of mine."

"That still doesn't explain why you call her 'Aunty Gertrude'."

"Well..." Skulduggery paused. "She's old and... Well a little bit batty. She insists on me calling her that."

Valkyrie laughed. "You have so much to look forward to in older age."

"We're not actually related so your attempt at insulting me falls short. Although you do seem particularly obsessed with my age this morning."

"No I don't. You're just old," and for good measure, Valkyrie added; "And I hate you."

Skulduggery nodded, eye sockets fixed on the dark road ahead.

"You're such a polite young lady."

There was no answer. Skulduggery glanced over and saw Valkyrie fast asleep, head resting on the window. He tilted his head and if Valkyrie was looking at him she'd know he was smiling.

When Valkyrie woke the sun was up and they were still driving. She looked down and saw her fingers laced with Skulduggery's. Smiling, she shifted and he looked over at her.

"Ah you're awake. Should I prepare myself for a barrage of ageist remarks?"

Valkyrie grinned ruefully. "You know I'm not a morning person."

She let go of his hand to stretch.

"What's the time?" She asked and reclaimed his hand, absentmindedly stroking a gloved thumb.

"Nearly 8. We're almost there."

Valkyrie could sense tension in Skulduggery's voice. She hoped he knew she didn't give a damn how old he was. She shook her was mentally. They insulted each other all the time. Being "together" was no excuse to get all insecure and mushy.

Valkyrie hated mushy.

She looked down at her hand and smiled slightly.

Maybe mushy was okay sometimes.

"Thinking about me?"

The tension Valkyrie heard earlier had been replaced by amusement and smugness. But she decided to throw him a bone, so to speak.

"Yep." She smiled again, knowing that would probably throw him.

But Skulduggery just chuckled and squeezed her hand.

"Good. Oh look we're here."

Skulduggery turned the Bentley down a paved driveway lined with oak trees. Valkyrie was impressed, it was very pretty. She forgot the trees when the house came into view. It was more a mansion than a house. It reminded Valkyrie of Mr. Darcy's house.

"You can close your mouth any time now."

"It's so..."

"Magnificent? Elegant? Spectacular?"

"Big." Valkyrie said, still awestruck.

Skulduggery shook his head. "You are quite the wordsmith."

Skulduggery parked the Bentley at the front of the house and got out. Valkyrie followed, still in shock.

"This is so much nicer than your house."

Before Skulduggery could answer a shrill voice pierced the air.

"Oh Skulduggery! Right on time as usual. And who is this delightful young lady? My goodness child, I hope he tells you you're beautiful everyday."

"Somedays I'm lucky to get a hello." Valkyrie smiled warmly at the woman who could only be Aunt Gertrude. She was a short, slightly frumpy woman, with long silver hair tied up in a bun.

She whacked Skulduggery with her walking cane.

"You should treat your girlfriend better than that." Aunt Gertrude almost screeched.

Valkyrie cringed inwardly. She had no problem with people knowing about her and Skulduggery, she just hated being referred as "girlfriend" or him as "boyfriend". It just felt too superficial for her liking.

However Valkyrie forgot her awkwardness when the old lady said:

"Besides. You're not getting any younger Skulduggery. You've lost weight since the last time I saw you."

Struggling not to laugh and refusing to look at Skulduggery she followed Aunt Gertrude into the house.

**It was 4am when I started this, now it's 5am. I'm on the bus to Warrnambool to catch a train to Melbourne so I can enrol at uni.  
I did not sleep at all.  
I feel AWFUL.  
But enjoy this! It's part one of a two part drabble. :D**


	14. Early Start - Part Two

**This gets a little smutty. Just a word of warning. **

The inside of the house was somehow more impressive than the outside. It was exquisitely decorated with 18th century decor and suited Aunt Gertrude perfectly.

Valkyrie thought the whole estate very pretty indeed.

They followed the old woman through the entrance hall into a room that housed a ridiculously high ceiling, plush red love seats and matching drapes. Valkyrie was still chuckling at Gertrude's amusing observations but stopped when Skulduggery prodded her sharply with a particularly bony finger. She grinned up at him and he just shook his head, but slipped his hand into hers as they sat opposite Gertrude.

"I suspect you're wondering why I asked you up here."

When Gertrude didn't continue, Skulduggery slowly said, "Yes, well I was wonderi-."

"I have a gift for you." She interrupted and Skulduggery sighed softly causing Valkyrie to grin again. "I'm going to die soon," Gertrude stated bluntly, "and God forbid I let the National Trust have this house. So I'm bequeathing it to you, Skulduggery. I know you'll take good care of this place." She looked around the room fondly. "And it will be a wonderful home for the children, Valkyrie."

Now it was Skulduggery's turn to laugh as Valkyrie stared, horror-struck.

Children? Was that even possible? Not that she'd mind trying, a sly grin tugging at the corner of her mouth. She knew Skulduggery realised what she was thinking when she felt him freeze.

"So?" Gertrude tapped impatiently.

"I'm speechless Gertrude-"

"Aunt Gertrude."

"-Aunt Gertrude. I feel truly honoured that you view me appropriate to run your estate. Thank you."

"You always did have a way with words Skulduggery." Gertrude flushed pink and smiled happily. "Now take Valkyrie on a tour. I need to take my pills and have a nap. I'll say my goodbyes now; hopefully I shall see you both at Christmas."

With a wave of her hand, Aunt Gertrude dismissed them both and shuffled out of the room.

Valkyrie stared after the woman, torn between laughing and sighing exasperatedly. Skulduggery wrapped an arm around her waist.

"I know how you feel." He muttered.

"She's so crazy. But so loveable. I want an Aunt Gertrude."

"You can't have one. Besides. You have an Aunt Beryl."

Valkyrie narrowed her eyes. "They don't compare."

"Have I ever told you how much you resemble her when you pout?"

"Shut up." She stood up and pulled Skulduggery up with her. "I would like a tour please."

Skulduggery tipped his skull, "Of course my dear. This is the living room. And that's a sofa." He pointed to where they had just been sitting.

Rolling her eyes Valkyrie led him out of the room. She didn't call him a goon, but he knew she was thinking it.

Two hours later Valkyrie was exhausted. Skulduggery had taken her all around the estate, showing her everything from the attic-study to the duck pond in the secret garden. He'd told her stories of when he was a boy and his family had come here for Christmases and Easters. She'd listened, aware that he'd never talked so much about his past before.

Now they were lying on the bed in Skulduggery's old room. Skulduggery's arms were wrapped around Valkyrie and she had her chin resting on his chest. His facade was activated and Valkyrie had stopped talking when she looked at him, becoming completely lost in deep pools of dark green. She was halfway through counting the hazel flecks (something she'd never admit doing) when Skulduggery flipped her onto her back and pressed a kiss to her lips.

Smiling like an idiot Valkyrie kissed him back, knotting her fingers in his dark brown hair. He broke the kiss only to trail a series of kisses and nips down her throat. Valkyrie groaned but then stopped.

"Wait, what if Aunt Gertrude comes looking for us?"

Skulduggery lips never left her skin. "She won't. She's knocked out for the afternoon. Besides, I saw the look on your face when she mentioned having children."

Valkyrie grinned as Skulduggery paid particular attention to a sensitive spot under her jaw.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Her breath hitched as Skulduggery's hand flitted under her t-shirt and unclipped her bra.

"Really? So then you won't mind if we stop."

Valkyrie was suddenly very aware of Skulduggery's absence and scowled. He chuckled and resumed, resulting in a sigh of relief and pleasure from Valkyrie.

She tugged at his belt buckle but he stopped her.

"You have too many clothes on." She said, ignoring how desperate her voice sounded. "And I," she sat up slightly and realised she was wearing nothing. "I'm completely naked. How on earth did you do that without me realising?"

Skulduggery grinned and kissed her stomach gently eliciting a shaky moan from Valkyrie.

"I'm just too good."

Valkyrie's hips bucked as Skulduggery reached her core and just as she was about to cry out his name the door opened.

Skulduggery shot up, bringing the covers with him, covering himself and Valkyrie.

Aunt Gertrude peered in. "Oh good! You're in here. I just thought I should mention that there's some sort of squid living in the duck pond. I'm not sure how it got there but I've called him Clive. As long as you feed him a stable diet of crab and fish every day, he shouldn't eat the ducks."

With that Gertrude tottered away, closing the door.

Valkyrie just stared at the space Gertrude had just vacated unable to speak, while Skulduggery buried his face in her hair.

"I forgot she sleepwalks."

**Well I had fun with this one. I hope you enjoy it. I don't think it's _too _dirty. My Rumbelle will be though... *evil face*. **


	15. Drunk

_Valkyrie had never felt so free. She watched as the group of people she was with, her friends no_, _her _family, _danced to music she'd never heard before in her life. _

_Valkyrie was content. _

_Then she saw Skulduggery._

_Well. Nearly_ _content. _

Valkyrie Cain was many things: one of the good guys, one of the bad guys, a sister, a daughter, a best friend and a very powerful sorcerer. In fact over the last five years Valkyrie had discovered much about herself. Working with Skulduggery had been a journey of self discovery to say the least.

But no amount of training could have prepared Valkyrie for what she was feeling this particular morning. Her head was pounding and her stomach felt like it had been turned inside out. Every noise was amplified at _least _by ten and Valkyrie was pretty sure if she opened her eyes she'd vomit.

It appeared she had met her match.

Damn hangover.

She'd never been a drinker, but last night was cause for celebration.

Tanith was back, remnant free.

The night had begun innocently enough. Skulduggery, Ghastly, Erskine, Fletcher, Tanith and herself had been at an official Sanctuary party celebrating the success and then ended up back at Skulduggery's.

What happened next was currently eluding her. Grumbling quietly, she tried to sit up. Her stomach gurgled in protest but she managed to hold herself together.

She opened her eyes a little and then shut them immediately. The room was spinning haphazardly and Valkyrie clamped a hand to her mouth. She felt coolness on her forehead and a bucket pushed into her hands.

"I'm fine," Valkyrie tried to say but threw up half way through.

Cursing her treacherous stomach, Valkyrie was grateful for the hands sweeping back her hair and then the cold glass of water pressed against her lips once she was finished.

"Skulduggery..?" She croaked quietly, but was unconscious before whoever had helped her could answer.

_Alcohol made Valkyrie brave. Tanith's influence certainly wasn't helping either. Valkyrie knew she should get off the table. She knew that tomorrow (or later on today, was that the sun coming up or just the lightbulb?) she would regret this, but right now she didn't care. _

_She noticed Skulduggery staring at her and took another swig of her drink. But then Tanith was gone; dragged off the table by a very mischievous looking Ghastly. _

_Alcohol suddenly wasn't enough to keep Valkyrie on the table and she began to wonder how on earth she was going to get down. She lifted a foot somewhat hesitantly and put it down. This was not going to work. Valkyrie took a step forward hoping that the ground wasn't too far away, when she fell straight into Skulduggery's arms. _

_She stared into his sockets, her skin hyper aware of his arms around her waist and legs. Valkyrie reached up and touched his cheek bone gently. _

"_Skulduggery." She whispered._

The second time Valkyrie awoke, she felt slightly more human and a lot more humiliated. Her memories were still fuzzy but her gut feeling (aside from nausea) was to avoid everyone at all cost. Something told her she'd done a lot worse than fall off a table.

Deciding a shower was more than necessary, she clambered out of bed. Her head span again but it wasn't too bad and her eyes remained open. She was still at Skulduggery's house. Brilliant. There was no way she'd make it to the bathroom without alerting _someone _she was up.

Making sure she was appropriately clothed, Valkyrie began the walk of shame to the bathroom. She never thought she'd be using ambush techniques to avoid being seen hung over. But that was exactly what she was doing; sticking close to the wall so the floorboards didn't creak and watching for any movement or shadows.

She had never been more relieved when she reached the bathroom unseen. Stepping into the shower she could've cried at the feeling of hot water pouring down her body. After what seemed like hours Valkyrie finally turned the water off and stepped out, wrapping a towel around her. She wandered back to her room, slightly surprised no one was up and about.

She checked her clock. 6:30am. She'd had two hours sleep. Valkyrie's head spun again and she sat down. This drinking thing was not fun. Wishing she could remember more of what she'd done last night, she slowly began to get dressed.

"_Valkyrie, be reasonable. Even if you did somehow manage to steal _all _my hats _AND _make it out the country alive, there is no way you'd be able to hide forever." _

_Valkyrie plucked the hat off Skulduggery's hatstand and put it on. _

"_You wouldn't kill me over a hat." She said, half aware she was slurring but not caring. _

"_My dear Valkyrie. I've killed for less." _

"_I know. But you wouldn't kill me. I'm your favourite." _

_Skulduggery cocked his head, "I didn't think it was possible, but your ego has actually gotten bigger." _

_Valkyrie scoffed. "_My _ego? I don't even have an ego when you're around. There's no point. Yours is too big to even orbit. Besides. I am your favourite and you love me. So there." _

"_Repeating yourself does not make for evidence." _

_Valkyrie mimicked him mockingly. _

"_Repeating me just makes you annoying." Skulduggery pointed out as he lunged for her; Valkyrie exploding into a fit of laughter as his fingers found her stomach. _

"_Alright! Alright. I won't do it again. If you're not careful I'll accidentally crush your beloved hat." _

_Skulduggery whisked it off her head and placed it on the table. _

"_When did you activate your facade?" _

_Valkyrie stared into sea-blue eyes. _

"_You elbowed me when I was tickling you."_

_Skulduggery's face was inches from hers. _

"_Right. Sorry about that." _

"_You have vicious elbows."_

"_I'll remember that from now on." _

_They were nose to nose now; she could feel his breath on her lips. _

"_You're very drunk." Skulduggery said quietly._

_Valkyrie half shrugged, "I don't mind. I bet you used to make a fun drunk." _

_Skulduggery chuckled darkly but said nothing. Valkyrie absentmindedly ran her free hand through his hair and suddenly his lips were on hers, fuelled by passion and longing. She had no idea who'd initiated the kiss but damn well wasn't going to be the one who stopped it. _

_Skulduggery pulled away only to trail kisses down her neck. She felt him smile against her when he began biting her earlobe and she moaned his name. He reclaimed her lips, harder this time and she wrapped her legs around his waist pulling him closer to her. _

_He pulled away to look at her. _

"_I love you."_

Valkyrie put her head in her hands. Dear God how much had she had to drink last night? And where was everyone else while she made-out with Skulduggery? Had they done more than just kiss? What was worse; she couldn't remember who had said the _"I love you."_ She couldn't even remember getting into her bed; her last memory was with Skulduggery, on the couch in one of his living rooms.

Regardless of the details, she was in trouble.

She needed to speak to Skulduggery. They needed to sort this out.

The journey downstairs was long and surprisingly difficult. Each step down, each subtle change of gravity made Valkyrie close her eyes in an effort to settle her stomach.

By the time she made it to the kitchen bench, she was exhausted. Skulduggery's voice made her jump.

"How's the head?"

Valkyrie noted the coolness that laced his voice and tried to ignore the feeling of dread in her stomach.

"Worse for wear. Self inflicted. I'll be fine."

Skulduggery nodded once, sharp and quick. The silence threatened to consume them both so Valkyrie spoke again.

'I assume it was you earlier on this morning that held my hair back and got me water."

"Indeed it was."

"Well... Thanks for that." Valkyrie finished lamely, cringing at the awkwardness.

"Remember much?"

Valkyrie paused before answering. If she lied, there was a chance everything could go back to normal. They could both pretend nothing ever happened.

Valkyrie sighed. There was no way that was going to happen. She slid off the bar stool and sat on the floor below Skulduggery's chair, resting her chin on his knee.

"I remember everything," she admitted, "well, I remember the main events. I'm still a little fuzzy on some minor details."

"I see." Skulduggery surveyed her over the top of his fingertips. "Enlighten me on your memories Valkyrie."

"I remember being at Gordon's, then getting here. Dancing with Tanith on a table. I remember her being dragged off by Ghastly. Then I think I fell off the table and you caught me. Thanks for that."

"Any time. What else?"

"Um. Well. Then it gets a bit blurry, I think everyone left and it was just you and me." Valkyrie wished the ground would swallow her whole. "I remember arguing over your hat. I think you subtly threatened to kill me if I ever took it. Then you tickled me." Valkyrie rubbed her arm. "I have vicious elbows."

Skulduggery chuckled and Valkyrie could have cried tears of joy.

"We looked at each other for awhile and then either I kissed you or you kissed me and then either I told you I loved you or you told me. They're two minor details I can't remember. Oh, that and the fact that I then can't remember anything else until throwing up." Valkyrie finished, red-faced.

"Does it matter?"

Valkyrie frowned and looked up at Skulduggery.

"Does what matter? What sort of question is that?"

Skulduggery slid gracefully off the couch and joined Valkyrie on the floor.

"Does it matter who kissed who first? Or who said 'I love you'?" He asked quietly.

Valkyrie looked into his sockets, watching the shadows dance. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?

"No," she said finally, "I suppose not. If that's how you want to deal with this." Valkyrie felt herself getting angry and was too tired to control it. "I mean, if you want to ignore what happened and forget this whole thing, sure. Go ahead."

"That's not what-" Skulduggery began but Valkyrie cut him off.

"I know we avoid big issues Skulduggery, but seriously, something like this? This changes the whole dynamic of our friendship regardless whether you admit it or not."

"Valkyrie you've misunderstood what I'm trying to say."

She ignored him. "Am I really _that _bad that we can't even talk about this for a-"

Skulduggery grabbed Valkyrie's face in his hands and pressed his teeth against her lips. She froze for a split second before kissing him gently and pulling away.

"Oh." She said quietly. "You meant... Yes. I get it now. It doesn't matter at all."

"Well done. It took you long enough."

Valkyrie nodded, eyes closed.

"You're going to throw up again aren't you?"

"Yep. It's looking likely." She managed a smile. "It's because you're such a bad kisser."

Skulduggery snorted. "I'll get the bucket."

**I'M SICK. I THINK I HAVE GASTRO. AND I'M TIRED. HENCE LOTS OF SHOUTY LETTERS THAT SOME PEOPLE CALL "capitals."  
Oh look I've stopped.  
Listen I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile.  
CHRISTMAS IS HERE!  
I would be excited except I can't stop throwing up.  
Which is why I made Valkyrie sick in this one. I'm mean and I wanted to make someone else sick. So take that.  
I'd say I have a fever. I'm probably going to read over this tomorrow and be like "ohmygod why? *edit*."  
Gooooood times.  
I hope you like this one. I had fun with it. **

**Silly Valkyrie. **


	16. A Christmas Proposal - Part 1

Valkyrie had loved Aunt Gertrude from the moment she'd met her. Her eccentricity almost outshone Skulduggery's. She was kind, loving and made mean eggnog.

Valkyrie couldn't help a small smile as she remembered the first time they'd stayed at the old lady's house. Now it was Christmas time, and just as Aunt Gertrude had requested they were here, along with Tanith and Ghastly. Tanith adored Aunt Gertrude, and had spent the last two days following her everywhere until eventually, Aunt Gertrude cracked and sent Tanith to feed the ducks 'forgetting' to warn her about Clive the Giant Squid who incidentally hadn't been fed for a few days.

Tanith had stopped pestering Aunt Gertrude after that.

But it wasn't thoughts of merriness that filled Valkyrie's head as she stared out over the green fields and pastures. Valkyrie closed her eyes as the memories of the morning, Christmas Eve morning in fact, flooded back.

"Valkyrie! Valkyrie, get up. Get UP now."

Valkyrie grumbled and attempted to swat away the annoying voice disturbing her. She cried out when the covers were ripped off her.

"Valkyrie, you might as well give up. She won't stop until you're up."

She recognised Skulduggery's voice and resisted the urge to flip him off. It was his fault that she was so tired; keeping her up 'til ridiculous times with his dark ways. Fighting off a smirk at last night's deliciously pleasurable memories, she sat up. Opening her eyes she saw Tanith perched on the end of bed, practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"It's Christmas Eve, Val! Aunt Gertrude is taking us all out for breakfast, then a walk round the estate, followed by lunch with the neighbours and then final present wrapping in the afternoon."

Valkyrie stopped listening as Tanith began to list the evening activities. She stared at Skulduggery, who, facade activated, was finishing tying what appeared to be a fine Half-Windsor Knot. She hadn't even heard him get up, let alone get dressed. He had definitely worn her out. Yet as she looked at him, all she wanted to do was throw a still chattering Tanith out the door and pounce on Skulduggery.

Valkyrie shook her head. He was going to be the death of her if she wasn't careful.

Admitting defeat, Valkyrie threw her hands up.

"Alright Tanith, I'll be downstairs in ten minutes. Just, for the love of God shut up. You're worse than Fletcher."

Grinning at her friend's narrowing eyes; Valkyrie clambered out of bed and into the bathroom.

Valkyrie and Skulduggery walked hand in hand, trailing behind Aunt Gertrude and the others. Valkyrie couldn't remember a time when she'd felt so happy. Well. Maybe when Alice was born, but that was different kind of happiness. Sneaking a glance up at Skulduggery, she knew it was because of him. Although neither of them had said it aloud, it was blindingly obvious that they were in love. Valkyrie idly wondered whether she should tell him that she did. It could be one of his Christmas presents.

She was still smiling at that thought when Skulduggery tugged on her hand, pulling her in a different direction to the others ahead.

"Where are we going?"

"Just to that little stone bridge, I have to ask you something."

"Won't the others notice we're missing?"

"I told Gertrude-"

"_Aunt _Gertrude." Valkyrie corrected, earning a withering gaze from Skulduggery.

"You're as bad as Tanith. Fine. I told _Aunt _Gertrude that we would be a little late."

They reached the bridge, still hand in hand. Valkyrie leant on the stone edges and looked down at the brook below.

"It's so beautiful here." She said quietly.

Skulduggery said nothing, simply staring at Valkyrie's reflection. Eventually he spoke.

"There's something I have to ask you."

Valkyrie looked at Skulduggery, frowning slightly at the anxiety in his voice.

"Is everything alright?" She asked, concerned.

"I love you, Valkyrie." Skulduggery ran a hand through his dark brown hair. "I love you with all my non-existent heart."

Valkyrie grinned, so much that she thought her face might split.

"I love you too, you goon."

She leant up to kiss him, but was surprised when he took a step back.

"I never asked you my question."

Valkyrie's mouth fell open as Skulduggery dropped to one knee.

"Will you marry me?"

**Oh dear. What will she say? What happens? Are you pleased I brought Aunt Gertrude back? She's such a fun character. I wanted to take all the characters out of their usual world, so don't expect any villains or wham, bam thank you m'am fights. This is simply fluff. :D **

**Also, apologies for not updating sooner. We came very close to evacuating on Thursday. I live in a part of Australia that is currently on fire. :/ It's been pretty bloody intense, across the whole country.**

**My thoughts go out to both the fire-fighters and those seriously affected by the fires. **

**As you can imagine, that's been hella stressful, plus I've been stuck in what feels like a month long anxiety attack. **

_**Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. **_

**But! Things are better now! **

**Also, two new things: **

**I have an Etsy shop called EbbandFlowMarket – check it out if you feel so inclined**

**My bestfriend and I have been writing out very own story. He's an incredible writer, so SO much better than me and tomorrow, I'll be posting some of it up on my deviantart, username of which is CatchingTheRain23. Again, check it out if you feel so inclined. **

**Hope you enjoyed this story! **


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